[She relaxes into the kisses with a soft, contented noise, hands coaxing him back to catch him in a fourth, and knees splaying enough for him get closer. It, and the sigh she lets out when they break apart, takes any building bite out her voice.]
I know you don't. For what it's worth, I don't really want to either.
['Whose side,' indeed. If a fight did break out, it would put him in an awful position, one of questioned loyalties and conflicted feelings. No matter how badly as she may want his clan-mates to straighten up and act better towards him, creating a new source of pain is definitely something she doesn't want.]
... sort of wish I had it in me to tell you to root for me, though.
[While she may not be causing a new sense of pain for him, there's still something off. She's urged him closer with her legs, given her permission for more kisses by reciprocating, yet he hesitates in continuing. The crease forming in his brow, the almost guilty look in his eyes as he gazes off at nothing particular behind her... There's something there that wasn't showing itself moments before.]
[The hesitation and the look on his face, the guilt and distance coloring it, bring her to a halt. Pulling back a little, the curious look she shoots him slowly turns into one of concern as the pause stretches further out.]
[She follows the cagey dart of his eyes, giving each spot a second glance before turning back to him, head tilting. Given there is nothing to obscure them or muffle their voices back here, maybe that wariness is warranted? Not that Youko has the faintest idea what thought he's put the brakes on. Her nose wrinkles slightly as she parrots that line back to him.]
You probably shouldn't say it here?
[That isn't concerning to hear sitting in the heart of HOMRA's territory.]
Because it's something... serious? Something private?
[If actually pursuing that line of thinking wouldn't just knock the lid off Pandora's box and set loose anxious thoughts currently held at bay, she might be seizing on the knee-jerk impulse to ask why he didn't mention this the last time they were alone. Given the look on his face, that would be as unhelpful to him as it would be to her.]
It is something you want to talk about, though? Just not here?
[There's a heavy, defeated sort of sigh, as if this secret is a school assignment he's procrastinated to the point of having no option but to hunker down.]
But, maybe we could make out a little longer first?
[Doesn't mean he won't try to prolong it, regardless of bringing up the topic, himself.]
[Drawing things out, delaying some inevitable crossroads up ahead of them with kisses is a tactic she has used herself, so she can't begrudge him the suggestion. Despite the unknown Sword of Damocles dampening her smile some, he gets an affectionate huff from her and a kiss to his cheek — the spirit of the thing, if not the thing exactly.]
[Defeated by temporarily placated, Bandou steps back so Youko may hop back down to the floor. The dishes are complete (for now) so they should be able to run off and seek a better place to talk without Kusanagi scolding him for anything later.]
[Easy enough for her to slip off the counter and land in the space vacated for her, though a bit of unease slips into her tone, and not because of the suggested change of venue. That is a history of disliking being in the dark rearing its troublesome head.]
Sure? A coffee shop is—
[She reaches out for his hand, looking to close the sense of distance.]
Actually, you'll have to tell me if that's a good setting for this.
[Returning the squeeze he gives her hand, she nods slowly, curling her fingers around his. Without enough pieces to scrape together a clue, there isn't much to do but go along with this and find out in the moment.]
[A short time skip forward and Bandou's returning from the pick up counter with both of their ordered drinks. He hands Youko hers then settles into the seat beside her.]
[Youko takes the drink with a quiet 'thank you', hands settling around the cup, soaking in the warmth. The apology gets a weak, embarrassed laugh out of her, a joke, and she gives him a gentle nudge with her elbow.]
[It is such a brief return to form, but it does plenty to loosen the tension she carted with her all the way from HOMRA.
Seeing that playful streak bleed out of him though, replaced with an uncharacteristic somberness, is a bit hard to watch. Even as it does clear up the need for secrecy and distance from the bar, all his comrades. She leans forward into his periphery, fingers tapping against the cup in her hands, falling into that measured tone she gets when she is treading lightly.]
You haven't mentioned how that happened. Well... you mentioned shaking Mikoto's hand while it was on fire, but not why you did it.
At first, it was a rebellious thing against my parents.
[The bitterness at just mentioning them isn't hidden in his tone in the slightest.]
I'd skip out on all the after school activities they expected me to do and take the bus out here to Shizume. Hit up an arcade then get back home before they suspected anything.
[Oh, the urge to complain more about them is strong, but that's not the topic he brought her here to talk about. A healthy sip of his coffee helps quell it.]
Anyway, I started hearing people there talk about Mikoto and how he pretty much ran Shizume with his amazing powers. And it kinda pissed me off to come out here to relax only to have to listen to guys brag about being part of this cool clan.
[The bitterness rife in his voice bringing up his parents isn't a surprise — his words were equally caustic the last time they came up, after all — but it does have her leaning her shoulder against him, as if quiet support could blunt the hurt.
The image of him cutting extracurriculars to kill time in an arcade as an act of rebellion is shockingly easy to conjure. As is the idea of him hearing gossip about the king and his clan, and getting up in arms over it. She takes a small sip of her drink, trying to cover the smile threatening to intrude into this serious topic at the thought of how the resulting outburst must have gone.]
Of course not! I was telling a guy at the bus stop about it, who turned out to be Fujishima. He was already a member. And I found out he doesn't like when people brag about being part of HOMRA either. That being there was more like a family than anything and that I should check them out if I didn't believe him.
[A smiles a little at the memory. Who'd think the quietest member would end up inviting one of the soon-to-be loudest.]
Plus, he said the guy who ran the bar they used as their headquarters didn't care about age restrictions on drinks.
[That gets a grin out of him again. Kusanagi probably wishes he had with Bandou.]
[Another fortuitous meeting at a bus stop. That gets a laugh out of her. Maybe there is something about Bandou's fate tying him to those. The way he repeats Fujishima's description of HOMRA, that impressive, brag-worthy gang being 'more like a family than anything', feels like they are circling closer to the crux of the issue.]
And after hearing all of that from him, did you decide to go see for yourself?
Yeah. I was just gonna get a drink and do some covert information gathering, but Totsuka jumped me the moment I walked in! I didn't even get to say anything before he started bugging me about joining!
[Can't you envision Bandou failing back in shock at being outed before he even had the chance to start being sneaky?]
I wanted to be pissed off at all of them. Especially Mikoto, getting to run this clan all because some giant rock chose him. But he held his hand out to me without any judgement, at all. And even gave me a brief pat on the shoulder when I got in.
[It all sounds good, so far. A long awaited acceptance. So why is he groaning in frustration?]
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I know you don't. For what it's worth, I don't really want to either.
['Whose side,' indeed. If a fight did break out, it would put him in an awful position, one of questioned loyalties and conflicted feelings. No matter how badly as she may want his clan-mates to straighten up and act better towards him, creating a new source of pain is definitely something she doesn't want.]
... sort of wish I had it in me to tell you to root for me, though.
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Saburouta?
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[The simple utterance of his name gets him to snap out of the daze he seemed to place himself in.]
Ah...there's just something I've been thinking about lately and—
[He cuts himself short, glancing around the backroom to make sure no one else snuck in without him noticing.]
Actually, I probably shouldn't say it here.
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You probably shouldn't say it here?
[That isn't concerning to hear sitting in the heart of HOMRA's territory.]
Because it's something... serious? Something private?
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[He looks like he's thinking way too hard on it.]
Controversial might be the best way to describe it.
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[If actually pursuing that line of thinking wouldn't just knock the lid off Pandora's box and set loose anxious thoughts currently held at bay, she might be seizing on the knee-jerk impulse to ask why he didn't mention this the last time they were alone. Given the look on his face, that would be as unhelpful to him as it would be to her.]
It is something you want to talk about, though? Just not here?
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[There's a heavy, defeated sort of sigh, as if this secret is a school assignment he's procrastinated to the point of having no option but to hunker down.]
But, maybe we could make out a little longer first?
[Doesn't mean he won't try to prolong it, regardless of bringing up the topic, himself.]
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Tell me what you've been thinking about? Please.
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[Defeated by temporarily placated, Bandou steps back so Youko may hop back down to the floor. The dishes are complete (for now) so they should be able to run off and seek a better place to talk without Kusanagi scolding him for anything later.]
Wanna hit up a coffee shop?
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Sure? A coffee shop is—
[She reaches out for his hand, looking to close the sense of distance.]
Actually, you'll have to tell me if that's a good setting for this.
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[He can tell he's making her uncomfortable with how vague he's being, but even so, his voice drops substantially in volume to finish his thought.]
I don't wanna be where any of the guys can hear us talking.
[He tries to reassure her with a brief squeeze of her hand.]
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Okay. So let's go find... somewhere they're not.
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Sorry if I freaked you out back at the bar.
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Sure it's not payback for sneaking up on you?
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[A bit of goofy flirting before his tone settles to something closer to melancholy.]
I've just been thinking a lot about HOMRA and why I joined.
[There's a pause where he simply stares down at the drink in his hands.]
And if I feel the same way now.
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[It is such a brief return to form, but it does plenty to loosen the tension she carted with her all the way from HOMRA.
Seeing that playful streak bleed out of him though, replaced with an uncharacteristic somberness, is a bit hard to watch. Even as it does clear up the need for secrecy and distance from the bar, all his comrades. She leans forward into his periphery, fingers tapping against the cup in her hands, falling into that measured tone she gets when she is treading lightly.]
You haven't mentioned how that happened. Well... you mentioned shaking Mikoto's hand while it was on fire, but not why you did it.
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[The bitterness at just mentioning them isn't hidden in his tone in the slightest.]
I'd skip out on all the after school activities they expected me to do and take the bus out here to Shizume. Hit up an arcade then get back home before they suspected anything.
[Oh, the urge to complain more about them is strong, but that's not the topic he brought her here to talk about. A healthy sip of his coffee helps quell it.]
Anyway, I started hearing people there talk about Mikoto and how he pretty much ran Shizume with his amazing powers. And it kinda pissed me off to come out here to relax only to have to listen to guys brag about being part of this cool clan.
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The image of him cutting extracurriculars to kill time in an arcade as an act of rebellion is shockingly easy to conjure. As is the idea of him hearing gossip about the king and his clan, and getting up in arms over it. She takes a small sip of her drink, trying to cover the smile threatening to intrude into this serious topic at the thought of how the resulting outburst must have gone.]
Which... you didn't just sit still with, right?
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[A smiles a little at the memory. Who'd think the quietest member would end up inviting one of the soon-to-be loudest.]
Plus, he said the guy who ran the bar they used as their headquarters didn't care about age restrictions on drinks.
[That gets a grin out of him again. Kusanagi probably wishes he had with Bandou.]
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[Another fortuitous meeting at a bus stop. That gets a laugh out of her. Maybe there is something about Bandou's fate tying him to those. The way he repeats Fujishima's description of HOMRA, that impressive, brag-worthy gang being 'more like a family than anything', feels like they are circling closer to the crux of the issue.]
And after hearing all of that from him, did you decide to go see for yourself?
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[Can't you envision Bandou failing back in shock at being outed before he even had the chance to start being sneaky?]
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Suffice it to say he was a convincing recruitment officer?
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[with a huff, Bandou leans back into the chair.]
I wanted to be pissed off at all of them. Especially Mikoto, getting to run this clan all because some giant rock chose him. But he held his hand out to me without any judgement, at all. And even gave me a brief pat on the shoulder when I got in.
[It all sounds good, so far. A long awaited acceptance. So why is he groaning in frustration?]